29th July 2006,
1.21pm Saturday. Yeap, half day. Today's patient load is not that high, quite relief now. Very tired, sleep around 2 am yesterday nite. I attend JOC yesterday, Andrew lead the group, sharing on JOC mission and vision- Transparency, sharing on Ps139. I couldn't find the place, round the taman for many many rounds- finally give up, call Andrew to help give direction. JOC have a strong worship. I enjoyed the worship the most, it boost everyone before the sharing- this will make sharing easier to absorb by members. Sleep at 2 am, tired but it's worth the time spent. Had a drink with Andrew after CG, has been a while since the last time meet. I'm blessed, to know him...and appreciate his openness and willingness to share his life experience with me. God has been working well, and His fingerprint is so real in his life, for this I'm thankful...Thanks Andrew, for being my brother!
Last week sermon Pr. shared his heart out in regards to transparency among Christian, it's after Men's Retreat. ACTS also stressed on transparency, and CG do talk about that as well. It seems that this week is what the Lord wants to deliver on the message on transparency.
James 5:16 is the main verse:
16Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].Amplified Bible
It teach us how we should pray? Openly, privately, accountability to one another. All sins and fall short of God's glory. Everyday we're sinning, unconciously or conciously. And many times the devil use the sins to threaten us, condemn us. It's so difficult to be victorious over sins. James 5 is so relevent- to confess to one another of our fault (Amplified Bible), trespasses (NKJV), and PRAY for one another- talk about support, accountability, so that you may be HEALED and RESTORED. The earnest prayer (heartfelt, continued, fervent) is dynamic. That is from Amplified Bible. Accountability with one another, the support and prayer by fellow Christian will lift up the burdens, and lead us to go on, to press on for His Glory- to be accountable for us to grow.
I'm asking myself- do I have any accountable friends? What is the step towards transparency and accountability? First- the trust, common ground, it take humility to tell others our sins, our wrongdoing, it takes effort to open up, to trust and to be vulnerable...and for one I'm sure I am not. I rarely open up. Most of the time, others open up to me- is it to do with pride? Or it's just that I'm chossy. Just too chossy on the person for me to share?
Yes Lord, I've heard of Your Word, how important for us to be transparent, not of being hypocrite, but be openned and transparent with one another. Father, I'm open before you, I'm transparent before you, I tear all the walls open and laid it bare before You. You know my struggles... You have searched me and known me, You know my sitting down and my rising up, You understand my thought afar off.. You know it all, I'm willing Lord, first to be transparent before You, acknowledge my sins and shortcoming before You, Lord help me, restore me to Your purpose, lead me to Your everlasting.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine
28th July 2006,
5.14pm, Friday. Thank God for Fri...it's gonna be weekends, great! Yeap, today is Friday, and Fri is a CG day. So which CG am I gonna be visiting today? I'll join Jars of Clay (my little brother's CG). Mum not at home, she's on her way driving to Bro's place for dinner. I won't join them- will be going back home eat Maggie Mee :P Then go Pr. Mei's hse for CG.
This week has been a good week. My heart rested well, doing ACTs every night before sleep helps me in the Words. Learning to pray for others and the needs, looking beyond my own needs. Visited Ps Prem yesterday, he wasn't well, diagnosed with AML and looks pretty depressed. I truly understand how it feels. It's never easy going through such trials, pain and suffering. But all intended for some reason. Yes, all things work for good for those who love God, all things. That should be the assurance we have. To persevere on the life on earth, thru' persecution, suffering and pains- knowing that as we trust and hold on the faith, God will bring us higher. Sometimes we just wonder why bad people always escape, good people always suffer. The rich get richer, the poor poorer. It's heart wretching isn't it? Yet, the assurance of God is there, He is Sovereign, He is in control, He has made all things beautiful in His time. Press on the race, knowing that the prize is heavenward in Christ.
5.14pm, Friday. Thank God for Fri...it's gonna be weekends, great! Yeap, today is Friday, and Fri is a CG day. So which CG am I gonna be visiting today? I'll join Jars of Clay (my little brother's CG). Mum not at home, she's on her way driving to Bro's place for dinner. I won't join them- will be going back home eat Maggie Mee :P Then go Pr. Mei's hse for CG.
This week has been a good week. My heart rested well, doing ACTs every night before sleep helps me in the Words. Learning to pray for others and the needs, looking beyond my own needs. Visited Ps Prem yesterday, he wasn't well, diagnosed with AML and looks pretty depressed. I truly understand how it feels. It's never easy going through such trials, pain and suffering. But all intended for some reason. Yes, all things work for good for those who love God, all things. That should be the assurance we have. To persevere on the life on earth, thru' persecution, suffering and pains- knowing that as we trust and hold on the faith, God will bring us higher. Sometimes we just wonder why bad people always escape, good people always suffer. The rich get richer, the poor poorer. It's heart wretching isn't it? Yet, the assurance of God is there, He is Sovereign, He is in control, He has made all things beautiful in His time. Press on the race, knowing that the prize is heavenward in Christ.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Life Application Bible, NKJV
25th July 2006,
Yeap..that's right, I finally bought the Study Bible, cool! Hmm..I have 2 bibles both given by Celina, and now finally got my own. Will need to make the fullest use of it. I've wanted to start afresh, in Bible reading- back up with the Sword, the WOG to able to grow strong, to be a better person. ACTS is very much powerful tools, ..indeed Ps. Sam has put a lot effort in this, preparing the material, very practical approach.
Today supposed to be audit by the Ministry of Health, but they postponed the visit to tomorrow. I did not do much, probably coz I didn't feel the pinch, quite experience from the previous accreditation. Work has been quite routine, normal- nothing much challenging. For some it's a good thing, not so much of stress, have some life. For me, it's okie, but without putting more efford to keep me occupied, I'll end up complacent and lazy...I hope not. Yes, am waiting for new system e-THIS, new coding, new structure. Confirmed to implement by 31th Auguest. Can't wait for it. My CDR Unit, hopefully by end of the year able to set it up properly. Delegation so far so good. Staff response well, not sure about Magdalene..hope she can cope without Charmine. I have 2 students with me now, 1 Pharmacy Student, a guy another Medical student. I thank God for this 2 students, very hardworking- didn't count much, do whtever seniors asked to do. Hope the attachment in GMC will provide good experience and additional practical knowledge for their future use.
Well, Tuesday- nothing much, going back have lunch, then spend time with mum, doing reading and rest. Not much of activities with church friends, only weekends. Cell Group...still not sure, thinking of joining back Desa-U...Benji has take up the CGL role, wanting to support, yet feel inadequate, as if has been long far off, not sure what to contribute. Still wandering, prayerfully when the right time comes, I'll get back on-track. Praise God!
Yeap..that's right, I finally bought the Study Bible, cool! Hmm..I have 2 bibles both given by Celina, and now finally got my own. Will need to make the fullest use of it. I've wanted to start afresh, in Bible reading- back up with the Sword, the WOG to able to grow strong, to be a better person. ACTS is very much powerful tools, ..indeed Ps. Sam has put a lot effort in this, preparing the material, very practical approach.
Today supposed to be audit by the Ministry of Health, but they postponed the visit to tomorrow. I did not do much, probably coz I didn't feel the pinch, quite experience from the previous accreditation. Work has been quite routine, normal- nothing much challenging. For some it's a good thing, not so much of stress, have some life. For me, it's okie, but without putting more efford to keep me occupied, I'll end up complacent and lazy...I hope not. Yes, am waiting for new system e-THIS, new coding, new structure. Confirmed to implement by 31th Auguest. Can't wait for it. My CDR Unit, hopefully by end of the year able to set it up properly. Delegation so far so good. Staff response well, not sure about Magdalene..hope she can cope without Charmine. I have 2 students with me now, 1 Pharmacy Student, a guy another Medical student. I thank God for this 2 students, very hardworking- didn't count much, do whtever seniors asked to do. Hope the attachment in GMC will provide good experience and additional practical knowledge for their future use.
Well, Tuesday- nothing much, going back have lunch, then spend time with mum, doing reading and rest. Not much of activities with church friends, only weekends. Cell Group...still not sure, thinking of joining back Desa-U...Benji has take up the CGL role, wanting to support, yet feel inadequate, as if has been long far off, not sure what to contribute. Still wandering, prayerfully when the right time comes, I'll get back on-track. Praise God!
Monday, July 10, 2006
Sing a new song to the Lord
10th July 2006,
6.00pm Monday evening. Write my blog before going off to Flame. Later the Desa-U rian will meet up- gonna hv dinner wth Matt before he go off to China. Wah, he's a blessed man- God has really blessed him with wonderful opportunity for climb coaprate ladder.
I reached Pg Airport 7pm, Benji and Jason came to pick me up then we join the rest for dinner. Really tired, but Kl trip was a fruitful one, I learned a lot, and am blessed by the fellowship with ex-SAHC, Lisa and Kawai. Manage to watch a bit from Fire conference CD- on Paul Baloche teaching one session on the heart of worship. I'm amazed on the way he sing to the Lord, yes- sing to the Lord from the heart. To know the scripture, and take out the Scripture and sing, just sing out. Sing praises to Him, worship from the heart. Worship in Spirit and truth....I'm blessed and challenged. Ps. Joseph shared on book of Joshua, how he conquer the land of Ai, and what can we learn from tht. We never can run ahead of God, but to wait for the opportunity, and He will provide the blessings- Blessings from obedient. Settled the sins, deal with the sins before victory come. Holding on and living on the Word of God.
Wake up late today-8.30am, rain so heavily, continuously. I jammed for almost an hour, the cars doesn't seem to move at all, trying to use other route (Jelutong) but end up the same. Finally manage to get to hospital by 10am, wow, that is late. I had lunch with Mr Koh, Japansese food- he treat. He's rather quiet man, and I'm also quiet person, we do talk on some personal things- eg. what we do during weekends, how is the church doing- reaching to Vietnamese, etc. Overall alright. I'm still not comfortable with people th higher authority, yes- respect and also need to treat the person as human...learning. My boss is good boss- never ever pressuring me. Thank God for him. Yup, going off. The guys must be waiting- hopefully not jam. Till then! Bye
6.00pm Monday evening. Write my blog before going off to Flame. Later the Desa-U rian will meet up- gonna hv dinner wth Matt before he go off to China. Wah, he's a blessed man- God has really blessed him with wonderful opportunity for climb coaprate ladder.
I reached Pg Airport 7pm, Benji and Jason came to pick me up then we join the rest for dinner. Really tired, but Kl trip was a fruitful one, I learned a lot, and am blessed by the fellowship with ex-SAHC, Lisa and Kawai. Manage to watch a bit from Fire conference CD- on Paul Baloche teaching one session on the heart of worship. I'm amazed on the way he sing to the Lord, yes- sing to the Lord from the heart. To know the scripture, and take out the Scripture and sing, just sing out. Sing praises to Him, worship from the heart. Worship in Spirit and truth....I'm blessed and challenged. Ps. Joseph shared on book of Joshua, how he conquer the land of Ai, and what can we learn from tht. We never can run ahead of God, but to wait for the opportunity, and He will provide the blessings- Blessings from obedient. Settled the sins, deal with the sins before victory come. Holding on and living on the Word of God.
Wake up late today-8.30am, rain so heavily, continuously. I jammed for almost an hour, the cars doesn't seem to move at all, trying to use other route (Jelutong) but end up the same. Finally manage to get to hospital by 10am, wow, that is late. I had lunch with Mr Koh, Japansese food- he treat. He's rather quiet man, and I'm also quiet person, we do talk on some personal things- eg. what we do during weekends, how is the church doing- reaching to Vietnamese, etc. Overall alright. I'm still not comfortable with people th higher authority, yes- respect and also need to treat the person as human...learning. My boss is good boss- never ever pressuring me. Thank God for him. Yup, going off. The guys must be waiting- hopefully not jam. Till then! Bye
Sunday, July 09, 2006
About to end...good trip!
9th July 2006,
12.10am Sunday morning. Lisa just went back. Lisa is a lady I meet when I visit Kawai's CG. Surprisingly it's not the 1st time that I meet her. I think I've attended her church_Grace Assembly couple years back when I visit Kenneth and Sarah. It's a small world- she know Li Gean and Viveene from FGC, my hometown church. Today conference was really taxing. I missed the 1st plenary in the morning because I overslept. Pretty tired. After the conference, take few minutes nap- then meet up with Lisa and eat at Mc-D. It's always nice to have gathering with Christian. She shared a lot to me, about what she learned during the Elijah Home, about Fathely love. The message quite similar to what Ps. Sam preached during Father's Day. I'm blessed to be reminded of the message again. Indeed good time. Each time before she leave she will pray with me. I'm amazed to see such caring and passionate lady, that desire to love God and make Him to be known.
Yeah, tomorrow is Sunday. Will miss church in Penang. Will not able to attend "Too close Too soon" seminar..wow, can escape from tht, good. Have been attending quite a number of the Singles talk, should be enough I guess. Yeah, will be visiting Lighthouse Fellowship tomorrow- hope I can wake up early tomorrow and get a right train to Taman Bahagia. This time don't want to take cab- previous experience has not been a pleasant one. Yeah, got to sleep- tomorrow church, got to be prepared for powerful message by Ps. Joseph, alright, bye Legend Hotel Room#1710, computer :P Nite!
12.10am Sunday morning. Lisa just went back. Lisa is a lady I meet when I visit Kawai's CG. Surprisingly it's not the 1st time that I meet her. I think I've attended her church_Grace Assembly couple years back when I visit Kenneth and Sarah. It's a small world- she know Li Gean and Viveene from FGC, my hometown church. Today conference was really taxing. I missed the 1st plenary in the morning because I overslept. Pretty tired. After the conference, take few minutes nap- then meet up with Lisa and eat at Mc-D. It's always nice to have gathering with Christian. She shared a lot to me, about what she learned during the Elijah Home, about Fathely love. The message quite similar to what Ps. Sam preached during Father's Day. I'm blessed to be reminded of the message again. Indeed good time. Each time before she leave she will pray with me. I'm amazed to see such caring and passionate lady, that desire to love God and make Him to be known.
Yeah, tomorrow is Sunday. Will miss church in Penang. Will not able to attend "Too close Too soon" seminar..wow, can escape from tht, good. Have been attending quite a number of the Singles talk, should be enough I guess. Yeah, will be visiting Lighthouse Fellowship tomorrow- hope I can wake up early tomorrow and get a right train to Taman Bahagia. This time don't want to take cab- previous experience has not been a pleasant one. Yeah, got to sleep- tomorrow church, got to be prepared for powerful message by Ps. Joseph, alright, bye Legend Hotel Room#1710, computer :P Nite!
Saturday, July 08, 2006
3rd PENSMA Biennial Congress: Nutritional Support, Legend Hotel, Kuala Lumpur
7th July 2006,
12.08am Saturday morning. I just got back from gathering with old classmates: Kok Keong, Andrew, Jenny and Sim Wooi. It was a great gathering, after so long didn't meet. I enjoy the time chatting and as usual the jokes. Yeah, today is 1st Day of the conference. So far so good, I learn quite some bit about TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition) even though we're not into such service in GMC.
I was pretty tired. Yesterday (Thurs) flight supposed to be 7.25pm but delayed to 10.00pm. By the time we reach Legend Hotel, it's already past midnite: 12.45pm. Then another bad experience. The hotel gave me wrong room. My ascess card could not open the door because there was someone inside. I can hear the snoring. Called up the Hotel staff twice before they finally arrange another room for me. By the time all settled it was real late: 1.30am. Anyway, cool! I have a free internet ascess here. Even though the computer is not Window based, but I can still surf and ascess to mailbox. That is why I'm here, middle of the nite blogging all the way through.
Today seminar pretty okie, few of the session I almost doze off, but with coffee manage to keep my eyes open. Fresenius Kabi sponsored quite a number of people from Penang. Most of the people were from Government side- Dr. Luah, and co. only 2 of us from private: Ms. Chen (Adventist Hospital Head of Pharmacy) and myself. Ganesh was sponsored by Braun. We had same flight, and it's good time for bonding and sharing of experience. Ms Chen always my role model in private healthcare. A lot people afraid of her, yet there's still respect in terms of her way of handling work- very discipline and no no to play a fool with.
After the seminar, I went to gym, had a quick workout and then come back freshen up to join the gathering. I was very encouraged to hear Andrew joinign fulltime ministry. He's now a Children Pastor in SIB church in KL, near Eastin Hotel. Only a few people that I'm close with during Form 6 time: Jenny, Keong and Andrew. We chatted in Kopitiam Restaurant, Sri Hartammas- and we just saying that time was so fast that we're now so old. Can't believe we're reaching 30's soon, and some already in their 30's. Oh No! I can't imagine myself in 30's, another more year I'll be nenek.....Oh No!
I was really tired. Just now sis called- she shared with me on the possiblity of breaking up with her bf. Again??!! I was pretty unhappy with the decision, as if she has been going around many relationship and none has been successful. Most of the time she is the one rejecting the relationship, probably have not found a "right" person, or is it something to do with expectation. Hmmm...I wonder my case, I've not been in any relationship before- can't believe it yeah? That's right, never into any relationship. Most of the time I was the one that clapping one hand, a few times- sensing someone that attract to me, but know not suitable- keeping a distance. I wonder how will my relationship be? Well, as for me, of such time, relationship will lead to marriage, or else better to stay single.
12.30am, am tired, gonna logoff. Thank you Lord for the day.
12.08am Saturday morning. I just got back from gathering with old classmates: Kok Keong, Andrew, Jenny and Sim Wooi. It was a great gathering, after so long didn't meet. I enjoy the time chatting and as usual the jokes. Yeah, today is 1st Day of the conference. So far so good, I learn quite some bit about TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition) even though we're not into such service in GMC.
I was pretty tired. Yesterday (Thurs) flight supposed to be 7.25pm but delayed to 10.00pm. By the time we reach Legend Hotel, it's already past midnite: 12.45pm. Then another bad experience. The hotel gave me wrong room. My ascess card could not open the door because there was someone inside. I can hear the snoring. Called up the Hotel staff twice before they finally arrange another room for me. By the time all settled it was real late: 1.30am. Anyway, cool! I have a free internet ascess here. Even though the computer is not Window based, but I can still surf and ascess to mailbox. That is why I'm here, middle of the nite blogging all the way through.
Today seminar pretty okie, few of the session I almost doze off, but with coffee manage to keep my eyes open. Fresenius Kabi sponsored quite a number of people from Penang. Most of the people were from Government side- Dr. Luah, and co. only 2 of us from private: Ms. Chen (Adventist Hospital Head of Pharmacy) and myself. Ganesh was sponsored by Braun. We had same flight, and it's good time for bonding and sharing of experience. Ms Chen always my role model in private healthcare. A lot people afraid of her, yet there's still respect in terms of her way of handling work- very discipline and no no to play a fool with.
After the seminar, I went to gym, had a quick workout and then come back freshen up to join the gathering. I was very encouraged to hear Andrew joinign fulltime ministry. He's now a Children Pastor in SIB church in KL, near Eastin Hotel. Only a few people that I'm close with during Form 6 time: Jenny, Keong and Andrew. We chatted in Kopitiam Restaurant, Sri Hartammas- and we just saying that time was so fast that we're now so old. Can't believe we're reaching 30's soon, and some already in their 30's. Oh No! I can't imagine myself in 30's, another more year I'll be nenek.....Oh No!
I was really tired. Just now sis called- she shared with me on the possiblity of breaking up with her bf. Again??!! I was pretty unhappy with the decision, as if she has been going around many relationship and none has been successful. Most of the time she is the one rejecting the relationship, probably have not found a "right" person, or is it something to do with expectation. Hmmm...I wonder my case, I've not been in any relationship before- can't believe it yeah? That's right, never into any relationship. Most of the time I was the one that clapping one hand, a few times- sensing someone that attract to me, but know not suitable- keeping a distance. I wonder how will my relationship be? Well, as for me, of such time, relationship will lead to marriage, or else better to stay single.
12.30am, am tired, gonna logoff. Thank you Lord for the day.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Arguement, Confrontation never a pleasant thing
5th July 2006,
5.49pm Had a bad day, again- arguement with Choong. Dr Hafiz called up to check on the drugs- he suspect pharmacy give wrong instruction on drugs- warfarin. The patient INR reduce to 1.1, and he suspect the patient underdose. I check up the prescription- found out that the dose is 3mg, bottle is 2mg one tab once daily. I look at who did the error. Never my intention to pint point anyone. It's a team- the whole process wrong- to the whole team should bear the fault, yet 2 escape, did not sign on the Rx.
Choong so upset, heated arguement- saying me targeting her. She refuse to write. I felt so aweful. Whether it's mistake or not- it's not my point. My point is people don't want to take responsibility. I'm just so tired. It's never easy to say something bad in front of others. It always reflect the bad-guy, how bad I am, making others to hate me. I guess the whole department must hate me for being strict with things. I'm just so tired, rather it's better being 2nd pharmacist- or maybe it's my character that God is trying to change- pride? Stubburnness?
I know I should esteem others, praise others when they doing right. Yet I've not try. Maybe that's why people think all are the same, whether do good or not good, whether perform or not. How am I going to handle the staff? The seniors hate me so much. I just prayed yesterday- pray for the staff, pray for me to love people, pray for every staff to be blessed; yet now today I experience such unpleasant thing. What is God trying to do? He's meaning something with me. Pray and see changes- trials and fruits? Or don't pray let it go off naturally- no impact- complacent?
Anyhow, I'm standing firm in hIs Word, yes He is working. All things work for good for those who love Him. As long as I do according to His Spirit, His Wisdom, have faith things will change. Oh Lord, help me!
5.49pm Had a bad day, again- arguement with Choong. Dr Hafiz called up to check on the drugs- he suspect pharmacy give wrong instruction on drugs- warfarin. The patient INR reduce to 1.1, and he suspect the patient underdose. I check up the prescription- found out that the dose is 3mg, bottle is 2mg one tab once daily. I look at who did the error. Never my intention to pint point anyone. It's a team- the whole process wrong- to the whole team should bear the fault, yet 2 escape, did not sign on the Rx.
Choong so upset, heated arguement- saying me targeting her. She refuse to write. I felt so aweful. Whether it's mistake or not- it's not my point. My point is people don't want to take responsibility. I'm just so tired. It's never easy to say something bad in front of others. It always reflect the bad-guy, how bad I am, making others to hate me. I guess the whole department must hate me for being strict with things. I'm just so tired, rather it's better being 2nd pharmacist- or maybe it's my character that God is trying to change- pride? Stubburnness?
I know I should esteem others, praise others when they doing right. Yet I've not try. Maybe that's why people think all are the same, whether do good or not good, whether perform or not. How am I going to handle the staff? The seniors hate me so much. I just prayed yesterday- pray for the staff, pray for me to love people, pray for every staff to be blessed; yet now today I experience such unpleasant thing. What is God trying to do? He's meaning something with me. Pray and see changes- trials and fruits? Or don't pray let it go off naturally- no impact- complacent?
Anyhow, I'm standing firm in hIs Word, yes He is working. All things work for good for those who love Him. As long as I do according to His Spirit, His Wisdom, have faith things will change. Oh Lord, help me!
Monday, July 03, 2006
Fly again...
3rd July 2006,
5.48pm, Monday. Yes, I'm flying again- locally, next week to KL for PENSMA conference, followed by another week to Kuching. People said my job is so nice able to travel, yes indeed. Time to relax and out from work, to explore other places, meeting new people. How blessed. Plan to meet up wth old classmates.
Testimony Sunday. I guess EPCC is the only church with Testimony Sunday, and Fathering Pastor Conference. Our church believes in being instrument for God to touch community, nations and to the world. That can be reflect through our commitment in Missions, in Urban Street Outreach, and a lot other community outreach. To know God and make God known throughout the world. Making Jesus the Virtual reality. One time Ps. shared: God is going to do something great in EPCC, taking EPCC to a greater heights..he encouraged us to grasp and catch the vision and flow alongside, to jump in the flow, whether you want it or not, it's gonna come...and yes, indeed true, it's coming. God's annointing is here, so real in EPCC, it's here. How are we response? Those that running and jumping into the flow will just experience the wonderful things, how about those that lag behind?
A question to myself- how have I positioning myself? Hv I jumped in and get into the move? Or am I lagging behind? If I'm lagging behind- then, will I ever able to get in the track again? Mission trip to Nepal has closed- that is so awesome, to see EPCCian so excited to answer the call to reach the unreached- to the far end of the earth. I was contemplating whether to sign up when the church announce on the mission trip- and now it's close. It just dawn upon me that the opportunity will pass very fast if you don't grap it. Time passed- seize the day, seize the opportunity. If there's any tuck in your heart of doing something for God, don't just think and think and think, wait and wait and wait- just jump in the boat, believing God is the one that heed the rowing- He will guide the way.
Am I lagging behind? Move on, believing God will able to give 2nd chance. He will never fail to give us more opportunity. Get the right heart- be obedience to the call He has for you.
5.48pm, Monday. Yes, I'm flying again- locally, next week to KL for PENSMA conference, followed by another week to Kuching. People said my job is so nice able to travel, yes indeed. Time to relax and out from work, to explore other places, meeting new people. How blessed. Plan to meet up wth old classmates.
Testimony Sunday. I guess EPCC is the only church with Testimony Sunday, and Fathering Pastor Conference. Our church believes in being instrument for God to touch community, nations and to the world. That can be reflect through our commitment in Missions, in Urban Street Outreach, and a lot other community outreach. To know God and make God known throughout the world. Making Jesus the Virtual reality. One time Ps. shared: God is going to do something great in EPCC, taking EPCC to a greater heights..he encouraged us to grasp and catch the vision and flow alongside, to jump in the flow, whether you want it or not, it's gonna come...and yes, indeed true, it's coming. God's annointing is here, so real in EPCC, it's here. How are we response? Those that running and jumping into the flow will just experience the wonderful things, how about those that lag behind?
A question to myself- how have I positioning myself? Hv I jumped in and get into the move? Or am I lagging behind? If I'm lagging behind- then, will I ever able to get in the track again? Mission trip to Nepal has closed- that is so awesome, to see EPCCian so excited to answer the call to reach the unreached- to the far end of the earth. I was contemplating whether to sign up when the church announce on the mission trip- and now it's close. It just dawn upon me that the opportunity will pass very fast if you don't grap it. Time passed- seize the day, seize the opportunity. If there's any tuck in your heart of doing something for God, don't just think and think and think, wait and wait and wait- just jump in the boat, believing God is the one that heed the rowing- He will guide the way.
Am I lagging behind? Move on, believing God will able to give 2nd chance. He will never fail to give us more opportunity. Get the right heart- be obedience to the call He has for you.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Over and over again, ...You shower Your Love..
29th June 2006,
Yeah, end of June now. This morning got my payslip, 1/2 month bonus up, cool! Praise God. Next month will be Union discussion. Even though I'm not consider Union member, but if any positive discussion will give benefit to the Management staff as well. I hope that I will be qualify for the pay adjustment, not too sure, coz I'm by contract, so my basic will be the same every year for 3 years.
Just now Benji smsed me, invite me to attend CG tomorrow- will be held at Mawar. Hmmm, one thing I admire about Benji is his willingness, his passion for God's things. Even with his tight schedule, shift work- he will tried to make it for church, for prayer meet, for cell. It's always encouraging to know such passion, standing strong during heavy storm- hanging on to God whatever it takes, a childlike heart to trust God. Benji shared- God gonna do something great in the Cell. Yeah, he has the passion for cell, for people, to take up the Desa-U group when Eric and Matt's away. Holding the fork, standing in the frontline, willing to take the challenge, and allowing God to use him. I felt pretty ashamed of myself, never want to contribute anything for His Kingdom. Always giving excuses. Afraid to commit, afraid to draw near.
I'm always focusing on the weakness, not the strength, the negative and not the positive, the past and not the future- then how am I going to move on? Even with that Daddy still so patiently awaiting, over and over again- He shower His love upon me, like rian from above, He shower His love on me. Thank you Daddy, for bearing with me, patient with all my rebels, gracious and merciful with my undeserving and wretched behaviours. You're so worthy, so so worthy, no one compares to You, no one compares to You, Daddy. You're just so great. Thank You, thank You!
Yeah, end of June now. This morning got my payslip, 1/2 month bonus up, cool! Praise God. Next month will be Union discussion. Even though I'm not consider Union member, but if any positive discussion will give benefit to the Management staff as well. I hope that I will be qualify for the pay adjustment, not too sure, coz I'm by contract, so my basic will be the same every year for 3 years.
Just now Benji smsed me, invite me to attend CG tomorrow- will be held at Mawar. Hmmm, one thing I admire about Benji is his willingness, his passion for God's things. Even with his tight schedule, shift work- he will tried to make it for church, for prayer meet, for cell. It's always encouraging to know such passion, standing strong during heavy storm- hanging on to God whatever it takes, a childlike heart to trust God. Benji shared- God gonna do something great in the Cell. Yeah, he has the passion for cell, for people, to take up the Desa-U group when Eric and Matt's away. Holding the fork, standing in the frontline, willing to take the challenge, and allowing God to use him. I felt pretty ashamed of myself, never want to contribute anything for His Kingdom. Always giving excuses. Afraid to commit, afraid to draw near.
I'm always focusing on the weakness, not the strength, the negative and not the positive, the past and not the future- then how am I going to move on? Even with that Daddy still so patiently awaiting, over and over again- He shower His love upon me, like rian from above, He shower His love on me. Thank you Daddy, for bearing with me, patient with all my rebels, gracious and merciful with my undeserving and wretched behaviours. You're so worthy, so so worthy, no one compares to You, no one compares to You, Daddy. You're just so great. Thank You, thank You!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
June...
28th June 2006,
5.48pm in the office. Have not been writting my blog for a month plus. Nothing much to share. Work is alright, but has been quite routine. Charmine has left, further her study- doing Master in Pharmacy in USM. She has been great colleague, I appreciate her so much, a nice person, pleasant attitude, and eager to learn and to work her best. Too bad she's attached, or else wanna introduce to Marcus:P
As for June, nothing really much. I felt as my life has been fleeting away. Has announced to my Cell that I'm officially released to go other CGs. Many had asked which cell that I planned to join? I have no idea, I really don't know which one. Have been taking long time to float around, and it's really not good, not healthy spiritually. I've been going out a lot with others- A2J, Zionist, those that I'm familiar with, but...I guess it's just not enough, there's just something lacking there. Well, I know I got to do something, not just let time pass and fly away, wasting every moments. Yet, I just don't wanna do anything, allowing the time to drag and passed and on and on. It's really a waste. I searching, wandering what I'm doing? What I'm actually doing right now? Have I been a good steward for Christ? No! I'm not. Have I been a good boss, a testimony to the rest, and point others to Jesus? No, I've not, Have I been a good daughter? No! I'm not.... Pastor's message past few weeks is really good- being son before being a Father. Learn to be sons and daughters FIRST. That's the first call. And the knocking is there, knock knock, my Heavenly Daddy is knocking at the door of my heart each day. It's just me, whether am I ready to let Him in?
Benji's daddy just passed away couple days ago. I'm so shock by the news, a day after Fathers' Day, and a day after we have dinner together. The funeral was solemn, I can feel his heart hurting, I can identify with his feeling, I really can, but I really don't know what to do. We can't do anything, but just pray and stand by him. Thats' all we can do. I miss daddy so much. Reflect back the time of his last breath. Seem so tough outside, but inside just broken, yet life goes on. Yeah, all things work for good for those who loves God, who has been called according to His plan and promises. Yet at this point, I still wonder...what is Your good plan for me? Yes, I know You are good, always good, but wht's next?
Esther smsed and emailed me last week, She want to include me in the intercessors list on the Sri Lanka trip. Oh Gosh...I told her, well..I can pray, but to intercede again? I'm jsut not sure. Anyway, yes...I've agreed to pray and uphold the whole team during their Sri Lanka trip. I guess the Lord is challenging me. Minister to Him before Man, and probably this is where I've lack. I wanna fall in love with Him again....But, ...oh Shirley, there's no "but"....just do it, fall in love with Him again, allow Him to touch you, to pamper you, to love you, receive that love- the love of the everlasting Father...even all may failed but His love Never fails, Never!
5.48pm in the office. Have not been writting my blog for a month plus. Nothing much to share. Work is alright, but has been quite routine. Charmine has left, further her study- doing Master in Pharmacy in USM. She has been great colleague, I appreciate her so much, a nice person, pleasant attitude, and eager to learn and to work her best. Too bad she's attached, or else wanna introduce to Marcus:P
As for June, nothing really much. I felt as my life has been fleeting away. Has announced to my Cell that I'm officially released to go other CGs. Many had asked which cell that I planned to join? I have no idea, I really don't know which one. Have been taking long time to float around, and it's really not good, not healthy spiritually. I've been going out a lot with others- A2J, Zionist, those that I'm familiar with, but...I guess it's just not enough, there's just something lacking there. Well, I know I got to do something, not just let time pass and fly away, wasting every moments. Yet, I just don't wanna do anything, allowing the time to drag and passed and on and on. It's really a waste. I searching, wandering what I'm doing? What I'm actually doing right now? Have I been a good steward for Christ? No! I'm not. Have I been a good boss, a testimony to the rest, and point others to Jesus? No, I've not, Have I been a good daughter? No! I'm not.... Pastor's message past few weeks is really good- being son before being a Father. Learn to be sons and daughters FIRST. That's the first call. And the knocking is there, knock knock, my Heavenly Daddy is knocking at the door of my heart each day. It's just me, whether am I ready to let Him in?
Benji's daddy just passed away couple days ago. I'm so shock by the news, a day after Fathers' Day, and a day after we have dinner together. The funeral was solemn, I can feel his heart hurting, I can identify with his feeling, I really can, but I really don't know what to do. We can't do anything, but just pray and stand by him. Thats' all we can do. I miss daddy so much. Reflect back the time of his last breath. Seem so tough outside, but inside just broken, yet life goes on. Yeah, all things work for good for those who loves God, who has been called according to His plan and promises. Yet at this point, I still wonder...what is Your good plan for me? Yes, I know You are good, always good, but wht's next?
Esther smsed and emailed me last week, She want to include me in the intercessors list on the Sri Lanka trip. Oh Gosh...I told her, well..I can pray, but to intercede again? I'm jsut not sure. Anyway, yes...I've agreed to pray and uphold the whole team during their Sri Lanka trip. I guess the Lord is challenging me. Minister to Him before Man, and probably this is where I've lack. I wanna fall in love with Him again....But, ...oh Shirley, there's no "but"....just do it, fall in love with Him again, allow Him to touch you, to pamper you, to love you, receive that love- the love of the everlasting Father...even all may failed but His love Never fails, Never!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Wednesday...Pretty normal
24th May 2006,
5.22pm. Wednesday- pretty normal. Work is routine. Nothing exciting, dealing with sales and doctors, get a hang of it. Quite alright, ups and downs. Just have to be more focus on the changing in HOC- waiting for Management to give me new space for expansion.
Today not feeling well, got headache. Menses has been over yet not feeling good. Wonder why. Yeah, pharmacist also can get sick- then sick don't wanna take medicine. Tomorrow will be watching Da Vinci Code for the 2nd time. Not pretty like the show, too much of historical inputs, kinda confusing. Maybe this second time will able to understand more.
Oh dear headache, got to go- not much to write. Going off...write soon!
5.22pm. Wednesday- pretty normal. Work is routine. Nothing exciting, dealing with sales and doctors, get a hang of it. Quite alright, ups and downs. Just have to be more focus on the changing in HOC- waiting for Management to give me new space for expansion.
Today not feeling well, got headache. Menses has been over yet not feeling good. Wonder why. Yeah, pharmacist also can get sick- then sick don't wanna take medicine. Tomorrow will be watching Da Vinci Code for the 2nd time. Not pretty like the show, too much of historical inputs, kinda confusing. Maybe this second time will able to understand more.
Oh dear headache, got to go- not much to write. Going off...write soon!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Singapore Trip
23th May 2006,
6.22pm Tues. 2 days back from Singapore. Basically the trip was really exciting and challenging. Working with Singaporean and getting to know their culture and environment, opens up my perspective. Singapore is a nice place to work- with it's systematic, fast pace and higher standrad environement.
I was attached to National Cencer Centre for a week. First day itself seem to be lonely, don't know much people, difficult to connect. Meet up with Olivia and Pentium, seen Pentium's wife. Got the news that Olivia is 4 months pregnant. Hmm...good to catch up. Life goes on, learning the system, learning the skill and technique. Getting to know what the Pharmacist in Sinpaore does. Very much motivating.
Did something brave- exploring Nite Safari on my own, shopping and venturing the area all by myself. Sometimes just feel, wah...am so tough- daring to explore lat night. Nothing much to share here- basically I'm not a person that love to travel and explore new things, I'm more the the homely type- but my job sometimes require me to travel for seminar. I don't mind travelling with frens but not alone. This trip has taught me to learn to enjoy the things I do alone. And probably yes, and I got to learn that. Sometimes, there are things that can be enjoyed doing alone, and there are some with frens.
At this season- I'm learning to handle loneliness. Yeah, Loneliness...I did shared with mum, sometimes, many times- there're this void, loneliness, just couldn't explain it. Never felt it before, it's more crucial at this season. Probably is the distance from God, distance from the fellowships...or it's normal, or is it normal natural thing that most people will surely go thru'...well, I really don't know. People said- Seek God, let God fills you, He complete the void and He satisfied. I understand that, I know...yet it isn't easy for me now. What should I do? How shoudl I positioning myself? Pray, just pray? Just pray..that's the only thing you can possibly do, wait on God, pray- open eye big big, and be yourself. Yeah...another: Delight yourself in the Lord for He will grant you the desire of your heart. That's the first thing to do, to delight in Him, to be satisfied in Him first, and seek Him first- then the rest be added...
Oh Lord, how far I've wander away from You- how far I've been running, and toasting and banging and falling, up and down. How long? How far? So many things Lord- I've gone off too far, can You still rescue me? Too many dirt, a filthy rags I am....how to delight in You Lord? Help me, rekindle that fire again.
6.22pm Tues. 2 days back from Singapore. Basically the trip was really exciting and challenging. Working with Singaporean and getting to know their culture and environment, opens up my perspective. Singapore is a nice place to work- with it's systematic, fast pace and higher standrad environement.
I was attached to National Cencer Centre for a week. First day itself seem to be lonely, don't know much people, difficult to connect. Meet up with Olivia and Pentium, seen Pentium's wife. Got the news that Olivia is 4 months pregnant. Hmm...good to catch up. Life goes on, learning the system, learning the skill and technique. Getting to know what the Pharmacist in Sinpaore does. Very much motivating.
Did something brave- exploring Nite Safari on my own, shopping and venturing the area all by myself. Sometimes just feel, wah...am so tough- daring to explore lat night. Nothing much to share here- basically I'm not a person that love to travel and explore new things, I'm more the the homely type- but my job sometimes require me to travel for seminar. I don't mind travelling with frens but not alone. This trip has taught me to learn to enjoy the things I do alone. And probably yes, and I got to learn that. Sometimes, there are things that can be enjoyed doing alone, and there are some with frens.
At this season- I'm learning to handle loneliness. Yeah, Loneliness...I did shared with mum, sometimes, many times- there're this void, loneliness, just couldn't explain it. Never felt it before, it's more crucial at this season. Probably is the distance from God, distance from the fellowships...or it's normal, or is it normal natural thing that most people will surely go thru'...well, I really don't know. People said- Seek God, let God fills you, He complete the void and He satisfied. I understand that, I know...yet it isn't easy for me now. What should I do? How shoudl I positioning myself? Pray, just pray? Just pray..that's the only thing you can possibly do, wait on God, pray- open eye big big, and be yourself. Yeah...another: Delight yourself in the Lord for He will grant you the desire of your heart. That's the first thing to do, to delight in Him, to be satisfied in Him first, and seek Him first- then the rest be added...
Oh Lord, how far I've wander away from You- how far I've been running, and toasting and banging and falling, up and down. How long? How far? So many things Lord- I've gone off too far, can You still rescue me? Too many dirt, a filthy rags I am....how to delight in You Lord? Help me, rekindle that fire again.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Changi Airport...Going Back
20th May 2006,
It's Saturday 3pm, I'm at Changi Airport...has been a week in Singapore, what an experience. Wow, miss home, miss Malaysia. Singapore experience has been good, learn so much in NCC. Going a lot places- but all by myself, explore my own. Went to Nite Safari, coz everyone asked me to try..well, not bad, but...kinda dark, can't able to capture much picture there. They don't allow to snap with flash, but without flash picture can't be clear.
Experience in NCC is just priceless. I learned a lot on their system and workflow. They had 4 pharmcist, plus Lita will be 5's in Onco unit and another 4 more I guess is in Retail. The pharmacist there pretty busy, with a lot work...wow, I have a lot things in plan for my Onco Unit, hopefully I'll able to make use of what I learn and apply it and improve t in my setting...
Gee...got to get going, dun wanna miss flight. Talk soon. Will post many picture soon. Ta...
It's Saturday 3pm, I'm at Changi Airport...has been a week in Singapore, what an experience. Wow, miss home, miss Malaysia. Singapore experience has been good, learn so much in NCC. Going a lot places- but all by myself, explore my own. Went to Nite Safari, coz everyone asked me to try..well, not bad, but...kinda dark, can't able to capture much picture there. They don't allow to snap with flash, but without flash picture can't be clear.
Experience in NCC is just priceless. I learned a lot on their system and workflow. They had 4 pharmcist, plus Lita will be 5's in Onco unit and another 4 more I guess is in Retail. The pharmacist there pretty busy, with a lot work...wow, I have a lot things in plan for my Onco Unit, hopefully I'll able to make use of what I learn and apply it and improve t in my setting...
Gee...got to get going, dun wanna miss flight. Talk soon. Will post many picture soon. Ta...
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Love is in the Air..
9th May 2006,
6.10pm Tuesday evening. In the hospital- tomorrow Ms Tan on leave, I'll be bz. Nothing much to write in the blog. Another wedding just over- Jo's wedding, she's definately so blessed. Hmm...love is in the air, lovely lovely lovely. How is my love life progressing? Wondering- always like the wrong guy- it just doesn't work. One hand clapping don't make any sound. It just doesn't work- got to move on, just move on. Appreciate what is in front, treasure and enjoy the friendship around. Press on and not afraid to love again. Dance like no one is watching, and love as never get hurt.
Lonely but never alone. Take up the promises. Live up a purposeful life- enjoy the singleood. Trusting God will provide. Amen!
6.10pm Tuesday evening. In the hospital- tomorrow Ms Tan on leave, I'll be bz. Nothing much to write in the blog. Another wedding just over- Jo's wedding, she's definately so blessed. Hmm...love is in the air, lovely lovely lovely. How is my love life progressing? Wondering- always like the wrong guy- it just doesn't work. One hand clapping don't make any sound. It just doesn't work- got to move on, just move on. Appreciate what is in front, treasure and enjoy the friendship around. Press on and not afraid to love again. Dance like no one is watching, and love as never get hurt.
Lonely but never alone. Take up the promises. Live up a purposeful life- enjoy the singleood. Trusting God will provide. Amen!
01-02-03-04-05-06
9th May 2006,
Wow, it's May. Time flies, indeed time flies. Recapturing back May 4th- I'm aging...Oh dear, I dislike thinking on my birthday approaching, yucks..I'm growing old :( sob sob. 01-02-03-04-05-06 is the countdown for me, but to be exact my birthday is 1.55am 4th of May 19xx...got to hide my birth-year hahaha....
I was on-leave that day. Went out morning 9am-7pm, first bought a newspaper- went to Mc-D, order my Mc-D breakfast and eat, and read...tadaaa...times up, 9.45am, cool..on my way to Prangin Mall. The shops still closed, and I'm just lepakking around the area, without plan, without focus, just loitering around. Then shops open- goodie goodie...shop shop, try this and that. Ooops, this is too tight, not good. Here, this is cool, I look gorgeous, spend spend spend. Then, reach eraing shop- yeah...:) I finally pierce my 2nd earlobe holes. Pain pain, but pretty pretty- looks wild. Cool. Then I went to Montage Hair Style at Pelita- hightlight hair, copper red, charge me RM125. Never ever spend that money on my hair...it's just a hair, why wanna spend so much? Wah...Shirley know how to pamper herself now. Looks cool, looks good.
That's my day. Spending, loitering, enjoying the exploration. Nite- Had dinner with the group- Roland, Marcus, Helena, Felix..my good buddy. Quite happy...
Nothing much also, a reflection of my 2x over years on the earth, how that I accomplished in this race that i run. Am I running well- the way I should be running, not beating the air, not in vain? Else the Christ death will be in vain- He paid the price for me, how should I live?
Wow, it's May. Time flies, indeed time flies. Recapturing back May 4th- I'm aging...Oh dear, I dislike thinking on my birthday approaching, yucks..I'm growing old :( sob sob. 01-02-03-04-05-06 is the countdown for me, but to be exact my birthday is 1.55am 4th of May 19xx...got to hide my birth-year hahaha....
I was on-leave that day. Went out morning 9am-7pm, first bought a newspaper- went to Mc-D, order my Mc-D breakfast and eat, and read...tadaaa...times up, 9.45am, cool..on my way to Prangin Mall. The shops still closed, and I'm just lepakking around the area, without plan, without focus, just loitering around. Then shops open- goodie goodie...shop shop, try this and that. Ooops, this is too tight, not good. Here, this is cool, I look gorgeous, spend spend spend. Then, reach eraing shop- yeah...:) I finally pierce my 2nd earlobe holes. Pain pain, but pretty pretty- looks wild. Cool. Then I went to Montage Hair Style at Pelita- hightlight hair, copper red, charge me RM125. Never ever spend that money on my hair...it's just a hair, why wanna spend so much? Wah...Shirley know how to pamper herself now. Looks cool, looks good.
That's my day. Spending, loitering, enjoying the exploration. Nite- Had dinner with the group- Roland, Marcus, Helena, Felix..my good buddy. Quite happy...
Nothing much also, a reflection of my 2x over years on the earth, how that I accomplished in this race that i run. Am I running well- the way I should be running, not beating the air, not in vain? Else the Christ death will be in vain- He paid the price for me, how should I live?
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Home Alone
2th May 2006,
7.00pm Tuesday. Login for blogging. Just back from Fitness Studio. Doing threadmill and roller and cycling. Didn't really sweat. I think I sweat more in Hilton than this one. But it's okiela, Harvey accompany me there- he's thnking of joining, and asked me to join. But fees too high, RM120 a month, and to commit for 6 mths, I don't think I can afford. Even if I can afford, I don't think I will want to spend such money on gym, where exercise can actually do it naturally- hike or jog around, or swim. Sunnyville swimming pool only go once a while, not even once a month. Hmm...better not involve this, even tho' sort of tempting, when frens asked- to join and tone the muscle. Hmm...dunno lah. Getting fatter and fatter it seems, quite lazy and stale. Must find something challenging to do, or else will become piglet, stay home and eat and linger around- very not effective.
Mum has been away for few days, since last week, she'll be away for 10days, so 10 days I'll be home alone, sleeping in the queen size bed, cook on own, alone. Too used to mum being around me, don't seem to feel lonely without a partner, now...can sense the difference with her absence. Yeah...miss mum.
7.15pm, still in hospital- will go off after this blog. Go back not sure wht to eat, maybe will cook for myself spaghetti, yucks...that reminds me of the stories of the Pr. sermon. Pasta- wow, very rich. After workout eat again- how to loose weight? Hangat hangat tahi ayam only...aduh Shirley. Looking at the mirror, the reflection of Shirley- hmm....fatty fatty boom boom. Aduh, how how how- how to kill that fats? :( sucks. Got to increase my metabolism. Keep going Shirley, you can do it.
Home alone. Mum in Johor with sis, went to Singapore last 2 days. This moring conversation seems very interesting. Sister likes to travel- bringing mum around- Sentosa Island, Orchard Road, etc...wow, I not ven been to Singapore. Will be going out of Malaysia for the first time this coming 14th. Ohh....a bit scary tho' all alone, not so adventurous. Shirley Shirley- as if kampung girl masuk city only...aduh!...Hmm...hope things be good. Hmm, alright la, time's up. Going off now. Blessed day!
7.00pm Tuesday. Login for blogging. Just back from Fitness Studio. Doing threadmill and roller and cycling. Didn't really sweat. I think I sweat more in Hilton than this one. But it's okiela, Harvey accompany me there- he's thnking of joining, and asked me to join. But fees too high, RM120 a month, and to commit for 6 mths, I don't think I can afford. Even if I can afford, I don't think I will want to spend such money on gym, where exercise can actually do it naturally- hike or jog around, or swim. Sunnyville swimming pool only go once a while, not even once a month. Hmm...better not involve this, even tho' sort of tempting, when frens asked- to join and tone the muscle. Hmm...dunno lah. Getting fatter and fatter it seems, quite lazy and stale. Must find something challenging to do, or else will become piglet, stay home and eat and linger around- very not effective.
Mum has been away for few days, since last week, she'll be away for 10days, so 10 days I'll be home alone, sleeping in the queen size bed, cook on own, alone. Too used to mum being around me, don't seem to feel lonely without a partner, now...can sense the difference with her absence. Yeah...miss mum.
7.15pm, still in hospital- will go off after this blog. Go back not sure wht to eat, maybe will cook for myself spaghetti, yucks...that reminds me of the stories of the Pr. sermon. Pasta- wow, very rich. After workout eat again- how to loose weight? Hangat hangat tahi ayam only...aduh Shirley. Looking at the mirror, the reflection of Shirley- hmm....fatty fatty boom boom. Aduh, how how how- how to kill that fats? :( sucks. Got to increase my metabolism. Keep going Shirley, you can do it.
Home alone. Mum in Johor with sis, went to Singapore last 2 days. This moring conversation seems very interesting. Sister likes to travel- bringing mum around- Sentosa Island, Orchard Road, etc...wow, I not ven been to Singapore. Will be going out of Malaysia for the first time this coming 14th. Ohh....a bit scary tho' all alone, not so adventurous. Shirley Shirley- as if kampung girl masuk city only...aduh!...Hmm...hope things be good. Hmm, alright la, time's up. Going off now. Blessed day!
Monday, April 24, 2006
Covenantal Conspiracy
24th April 2006,
5.59pm Monday, after work, waiting for Procare to starting printing report, system too slow. Wonder the report printing will reduce the speed of the system. Gonna change system soon- can't wait, excited yet quite fearful- surely a lot of unexpected problems. Got to be ready for that. Today is okie, had dinner with Harvey- he belanja me eat Japanese food- more than a hundred ringgit bills. Sweet talker, I'm playing a fool with him, he challenge to pay registration for Fitness First Centre if I can consistently doing exercise there- can't believe what he said- cakap kosong- pretty unfruitful.
Charmine back from her long holidays, don't have the time to talk to her- she gonna resign soon, her last day will be 28th June, not sure how she's feeling. Magdalene should be doing well. Hope so, am always concious of how I have been as a boss to them- whether am doing well, or wht's the expectation of others on me. Yeah, talking about expectation- just a few days ago, a ffiend of mine just giving me some remarks on how I hv put high expectation on others. I admit that I do, and I learn from it, see through ones strength and not the weaknesses. Do to others how others do to you, am I wanting others to put expectation on me? If not, I should not have expect others.
Saturday service was great. Pr message was so strong- about the Covenantal Conspiracy, taken from Amos 8:11-14
11 "The days are coming," declares the Sovereign LORD, "when I will send a famine through the land—not a famine of food or a thirst for water, but a famine of hearing the words of the LORD.
12 Men will stagger from sea to sea and wander from north to east, searching for the word of the LORD, but they will not find it.
13 "In that day "the lovely young women and strong young men will faint because of thirst.
14 They who swear by the shame [b] of Samaria, or say, 'As surely as your god lives, O Dan,' or, 'As surely as the god [c] of Beersheba lives'— they will fall, never to rise again."
It struck my heart. We have been taking the Word of God so lightly, the love letter of God so lightly- Pr Sam described how's a life of a Bible if it's written in a diary- saddening. How have we wondered from loving His Word? How have we allowing the world to enter in the church? How how have we response in religious hypocrisy in attending church and in serving? Will it come a time- the Lord will take away His Word from us? Not a famine of food or thirst of water, but a famine of the hearing of the Word of God. Will there be a time, when we search for His Word, His saying, and found none? Yes- It's written in the book of Amos. Now that we have His Word, do we wanna wait till it come a time where we seek and can't find His Words- and die of thrist? Spiritual thirst?
Oh Abba Father, forgive me if I've not been loving Your Words, and living out Your Words the way it should. Forgive me for the disobedience of Your commandment, and the deceived of my heart, forgive me for the heart of stone, rejecting Your Words when it's there- available to dispense. Forgive me for the hardenning and critical mindset, rejecting what is good. Help me Lord, Help me to know You are near. Help me to draw nearer to Your Words daily, and Living it out. Not just a hearer Father, but doers of Your Words, able to stand in obedience. Lord....please don't take Your Words away, please don't cause the famine of Your Words, I will never able to bear it, in the time You take it away. Let Your sweet Words be a live to my soul. Where can we go from Your presence Lord, for You hold the Word of eternal life. You are the only One that hold the Word of eternal life, and I thirst for Your Words Lord,,Now..I thirst for You to speak in me Father....Lord, I commit this life to You- help me to grow in love with You again- renew my heart, a heart of flesh and not a heart of stone. Amen!
5.59pm Monday, after work, waiting for Procare to starting printing report, system too slow. Wonder the report printing will reduce the speed of the system. Gonna change system soon- can't wait, excited yet quite fearful- surely a lot of unexpected problems. Got to be ready for that. Today is okie, had dinner with Harvey- he belanja me eat Japanese food- more than a hundred ringgit bills. Sweet talker, I'm playing a fool with him, he challenge to pay registration for Fitness First Centre if I can consistently doing exercise there- can't believe what he said- cakap kosong- pretty unfruitful.
Charmine back from her long holidays, don't have the time to talk to her- she gonna resign soon, her last day will be 28th June, not sure how she's feeling. Magdalene should be doing well. Hope so, am always concious of how I have been as a boss to them- whether am doing well, or wht's the expectation of others on me. Yeah, talking about expectation- just a few days ago, a ffiend of mine just giving me some remarks on how I hv put high expectation on others. I admit that I do, and I learn from it, see through ones strength and not the weaknesses. Do to others how others do to you, am I wanting others to put expectation on me? If not, I should not have expect others.
Saturday service was great. Pr message was so strong- about the Covenantal Conspiracy, taken from Amos 8:11-14
11 "The days are coming," declares the Sovereign LORD, "when I will send a famine through the land—not a famine of food or a thirst for water, but a famine of hearing the words of the LORD.
12 Men will stagger from sea to sea and wander from north to east, searching for the word of the LORD, but they will not find it.
13 "In that day "the lovely young women and strong young men will faint because of thirst.
14 They who swear by the shame [b] of Samaria, or say, 'As surely as your god lives, O Dan,' or, 'As surely as the god [c] of Beersheba lives'— they will fall, never to rise again."
It struck my heart. We have been taking the Word of God so lightly, the love letter of God so lightly- Pr Sam described how's a life of a Bible if it's written in a diary- saddening. How have we wondered from loving His Word? How have we allowing the world to enter in the church? How how have we response in religious hypocrisy in attending church and in serving? Will it come a time- the Lord will take away His Word from us? Not a famine of food or thirst of water, but a famine of the hearing of the Word of God. Will there be a time, when we search for His Word, His saying, and found none? Yes- It's written in the book of Amos. Now that we have His Word, do we wanna wait till it come a time where we seek and can't find His Words- and die of thrist? Spiritual thirst?
Oh Abba Father, forgive me if I've not been loving Your Words, and living out Your Words the way it should. Forgive me for the disobedience of Your commandment, and the deceived of my heart, forgive me for the heart of stone, rejecting Your Words when it's there- available to dispense. Forgive me for the hardenning and critical mindset, rejecting what is good. Help me Lord, Help me to know You are near. Help me to draw nearer to Your Words daily, and Living it out. Not just a hearer Father, but doers of Your Words, able to stand in obedience. Lord....please don't take Your Words away, please don't cause the famine of Your Words, I will never able to bear it, in the time You take it away. Let Your sweet Words be a live to my soul. Where can we go from Your presence Lord, for You hold the Word of eternal life. You are the only One that hold the Word of eternal life, and I thirst for Your Words Lord,,Now..I thirst for You to speak in me Father....Lord, I commit this life to You- help me to grow in love with You again- renew my heart, a heart of flesh and not a heart of stone. Amen!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
I'm held by Your Love, I'm held by Your strength
19th April 2006,
5.36pm- Wednesday evening, in the office. Has been a while didn't write blog, since PH till now. Work has been usual, Charmine and Toh still on-leave. Just had Department Meeting, still insufficient staff. Nothing much about work, had lunch with Lem (Merck), and Serene. Waiting to go Singapore another few weeks time, haven't make passport. Got to make time do to it, or else my HR will kill me:P
Yesterday went for MLM, Million Leaders Mandate, a course conducted for all leaders. Our church has been good- always wanting to equip and develop the leaders. Ps. Sam is a visionary man, planning and strategising for future expansion. The traning was conducted by Un. Daniel, with his hoarse voice he still able to pull through delivering the message. The topic on Leader's Heart. Interesting. During discussion time I'm sort of award, when people sharing about what is the excuses on not in the leadership, etc. I just don't know how to share. Stepping down in leadership..yeah, Eric must really have hard time bearing with me. Now I've not been actively involving in Cell, just a normal attender, and in search of new cell. Many asked me, which cell I'm going to join? I've no idea, don't know how to answer them. Marcus approached me asked me to consider joining them, to help in mentoring the members, more of support. I appreciate that he still remember the Shirley before...but, well..I don't think A2J or Zion will be in my shopping list, well, dunno maybe will, maybe not, but most probably not. The fellowship is great, I'm quite attached and close with the members, yet something within me is yeilding for more, more than a fellowship- I want more than a fellowship, that's wht I know....wht is that? If not fellowship- which other cell can offer? What did you want, Shirley? I'm asking myself. I really don't know- Words, Works, something that can bang in my Spirit that I can be passionate again? Seriousness? ...does it means Desa-U and A2J or Zion not serious? How serious you want? I'm asking myself. I want to some different environment to grow, to grow again. Attaching back to any of the groups will never let me grow..that's wht I think....
I was just like a free bird now, flying and wandering around- soaring up and down, a lonely tiny little bird, searching for more. But I know He has something for me, I'm assured of that- that I'm held by His Love, I'm held by His strength...Pray with me, those who read my blog- that I will able to find a place, to serve with joy, to minister to Him and to people, and to grow in Him in Grace....
After MLM, had supper with Roland and Yueh Nee, we discussed about relationship again- I was saying to them- yeah, am waiting for God to drop one from the sky, God willing. Exploring the possibilities- Roland suggested a few from EPCC, hmmm.....seems hopeless, yet I have the "living" hope in Him, Amen for that! :PP
5.36pm- Wednesday evening, in the office. Has been a while didn't write blog, since PH till now. Work has been usual, Charmine and Toh still on-leave. Just had Department Meeting, still insufficient staff. Nothing much about work, had lunch with Lem (Merck), and Serene. Waiting to go Singapore another few weeks time, haven't make passport. Got to make time do to it, or else my HR will kill me:P
Yesterday went for MLM, Million Leaders Mandate, a course conducted for all leaders. Our church has been good- always wanting to equip and develop the leaders. Ps. Sam is a visionary man, planning and strategising for future expansion. The traning was conducted by Un. Daniel, with his hoarse voice he still able to pull through delivering the message. The topic on Leader's Heart. Interesting. During discussion time I'm sort of award, when people sharing about what is the excuses on not in the leadership, etc. I just don't know how to share. Stepping down in leadership..yeah, Eric must really have hard time bearing with me. Now I've not been actively involving in Cell, just a normal attender, and in search of new cell. Many asked me, which cell I'm going to join? I've no idea, don't know how to answer them. Marcus approached me asked me to consider joining them, to help in mentoring the members, more of support. I appreciate that he still remember the Shirley before...but, well..I don't think A2J or Zion will be in my shopping list, well, dunno maybe will, maybe not, but most probably not. The fellowship is great, I'm quite attached and close with the members, yet something within me is yeilding for more, more than a fellowship- I want more than a fellowship, that's wht I know....wht is that? If not fellowship- which other cell can offer? What did you want, Shirley? I'm asking myself. I really don't know- Words, Works, something that can bang in my Spirit that I can be passionate again? Seriousness? ...does it means Desa-U and A2J or Zion not serious? How serious you want? I'm asking myself. I want to some different environment to grow, to grow again. Attaching back to any of the groups will never let me grow..that's wht I think....
I was just like a free bird now, flying and wandering around- soaring up and down, a lonely tiny little bird, searching for more. But I know He has something for me, I'm assured of that- that I'm held by His Love, I'm held by His strength...Pray with me, those who read my blog- that I will able to find a place, to serve with joy, to minister to Him and to people, and to grow in Him in Grace....
After MLM, had supper with Roland and Yueh Nee, we discussed about relationship again- I was saying to them- yeah, am waiting for God to drop one from the sky, God willing. Exploring the possibilities- Roland suggested a few from EPCC, hmmm.....seems hopeless, yet I have the "living" hope in Him, Amen for that! :PP
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Resting PH: Happening and Relaxing
12th April 2006,
6.14pm Wed evening. Still in the office- waiting for Lisa to call to confirm on tonites' dinner venue. Just now management meeting, heard that Mr. Koh's wife met accident, so he went off early- therefore Ivan conduct the meeting. Not much of discussion going on. Matron Teoh, Matron Lim and Dr. George bombarded me to help Casualty on drug dispensing- trying to pressure Pharmacy to open longer hours. Am quiet, don't know how to stand for the department- Thank God Ivan sided me- give a neutral opinion, to think out of box and see things in bigger picture- to evaluate the data, on the cost effectiveness. Pharmacy Department wrking well I guess. Toh brought up an issue on putting more staff during Sunday, is there a need- when they can't furnish me with data? Has been hearing the staff grumbling of stress and high work load. But how about the low time when people are chatting away? Lord- grant me Your wisdom in this matter- hw to resolve this. I plan to do a spot-check this Sunday- will miss the Easter celebration- will attend Saturday service, and Sunday plan to go hospital, see how busy we are.
Yesterday is a PH. Mum joined my friends for Youth Park Hike. Surprisingly, she's so fit, can climb and reach the destination faster than us. She enjoyed herself, yeah... The rest of the group climbed up to Pg Hill, but we did not join. We only reach No-3# and later on hike down to hv breakfast opposite Ping Hwa High school, then later to bank to deposit my cheque, then head back home. Reached home collapsed on the coach, fall asleep in the midst of watching Da Vinci Code by RBC. So tired, wake up have lunch- then bath and continue Da VinciCode- Fact or Fiction. Later on do some paper work on documents for Income Tax, then time's up to fetch Lisa from airport.
7.50pm Airport. Meet up with Lisa- we had dinner at Hakka Mee Stall. Had quite a long chat. To my surprise, Lisa been so opened to me, she shared a lot on her past relationship, on the requirement topray for a life partner. I was so surprise how she can share this personal issue with me even tho' we're quite newly meet. The first question she asked during the dinner: "So..have you meet your Adam?". Oh dear...I was kinda uncomfortable discussion on relationship issue, yet she brought up this personal question. She said that on her way to Penang, she just feel that she wanna share on relationship. I'm not sure- whether is it God sending her to tell me something? Yes, I do praying for a life partner, but am not earnestly pray. Lisa said, you got to earnestly pray and list down your critera to God, so that when the right person come along the way, then God will help you to be sensitive to receive it. I disagree. I have my set of criteria, but to list it down specifically one by one to God- I don't think it's necessary. It's like limiting God and positioning myself in desperate moment. Well, I wonder through am I desperate? What is the level of my desperation? I listen to the DVD by Ps Prince from Singapore about finding right partner- that desperation will bring us to settle for any. Oh No! I don't want to come to the situation which I'm settling for anyone- Tom Dick and Harry, No Lord- He knows my heart. Some of the sharing do ring some truth, in positioning to receive the "Right'" one when it comes, yet the issue of "Right" one..I'm not pretty agree. I don't believe in one and only right one, and when I miss it means I'll get the second best. I believe of God have our best interest at heart, and He will wants to give the best- as compatible to us, when it seems fit- only if we incline to Him. Incline and yeilding to Him, yet be discern and sensitive of His leading and understanding our own self. I don't know- I've been praying, but am I earnestly pray? What's the meaning- earnestly? How earnestly? Everyday bangging on heaven's door and ask God to give me a life partner? No- course not, pray for God to work on the person- in passion and purity, in His right time, we will meet. And let His peace guard my heart- with assurance of His love and promises. I believe God knows best my heart, and I don't think to list down every single details from A-Zs is a good idea- I'm not limiting God, I'm trusting Him, my Abba Father. Sometimes it's not easy, pressure do comes, yet got to surrender the heart. My prayer is Lord, guard my heart- for it's the well spring of life. Let me not simply give my heart to anyone, not anyone- close it tight, and surrender to You, and You will open my heart when it's the right time, to the right person...Right person? Hmm...you know best, I know best, somehow we will know.
After dinner- Lisa joined my frens Bday party at Hidden Cafe- wow, such long table, I think got about 20 over people. I introduce Lisa to Roland, and Marcus sitting beside me, and others. It's Helena's birthday- Felix was around too, but has not been talking to him for long. Am feeling a bit uncomfortable. Has been staying aloof nowadays. Lisa can really talk, she shared a lot spiritual insight with me. We left the place earlier- fetching her back Vistana. She's very happy- keep on thanking me for the hospitality. Well, know a new friend.
6.14pm Wed evening. Still in the office- waiting for Lisa to call to confirm on tonites' dinner venue. Just now management meeting, heard that Mr. Koh's wife met accident, so he went off early- therefore Ivan conduct the meeting. Not much of discussion going on. Matron Teoh, Matron Lim and Dr. George bombarded me to help Casualty on drug dispensing- trying to pressure Pharmacy to open longer hours. Am quiet, don't know how to stand for the department- Thank God Ivan sided me- give a neutral opinion, to think out of box and see things in bigger picture- to evaluate the data, on the cost effectiveness. Pharmacy Department wrking well I guess. Toh brought up an issue on putting more staff during Sunday, is there a need- when they can't furnish me with data? Has been hearing the staff grumbling of stress and high work load. But how about the low time when people are chatting away? Lord- grant me Your wisdom in this matter- hw to resolve this. I plan to do a spot-check this Sunday- will miss the Easter celebration- will attend Saturday service, and Sunday plan to go hospital, see how busy we are.
Yesterday is a PH. Mum joined my friends for Youth Park Hike. Surprisingly, she's so fit, can climb and reach the destination faster than us. She enjoyed herself, yeah... The rest of the group climbed up to Pg Hill, but we did not join. We only reach No-3# and later on hike down to hv breakfast opposite Ping Hwa High school, then later to bank to deposit my cheque, then head back home. Reached home collapsed on the coach, fall asleep in the midst of watching Da Vinci Code by RBC. So tired, wake up have lunch- then bath and continue Da VinciCode- Fact or Fiction. Later on do some paper work on documents for Income Tax, then time's up to fetch Lisa from airport.
7.50pm Airport. Meet up with Lisa- we had dinner at Hakka Mee Stall. Had quite a long chat. To my surprise, Lisa been so opened to me, she shared a lot on her past relationship, on the requirement topray for a life partner. I was so surprise how she can share this personal issue with me even tho' we're quite newly meet. The first question she asked during the dinner: "So..have you meet your Adam?". Oh dear...I was kinda uncomfortable discussion on relationship issue, yet she brought up this personal question. She said that on her way to Penang, she just feel that she wanna share on relationship. I'm not sure- whether is it God sending her to tell me something? Yes, I do praying for a life partner, but am not earnestly pray. Lisa said, you got to earnestly pray and list down your critera to God, so that when the right person come along the way, then God will help you to be sensitive to receive it. I disagree. I have my set of criteria, but to list it down specifically one by one to God- I don't think it's necessary. It's like limiting God and positioning myself in desperate moment. Well, I wonder through am I desperate? What is the level of my desperation? I listen to the DVD by Ps Prince from Singapore about finding right partner- that desperation will bring us to settle for any. Oh No! I don't want to come to the situation which I'm settling for anyone- Tom Dick and Harry, No Lord- He knows my heart. Some of the sharing do ring some truth, in positioning to receive the "Right'" one when it comes, yet the issue of "Right" one..I'm not pretty agree. I don't believe in one and only right one, and when I miss it means I'll get the second best. I believe of God have our best interest at heart, and He will wants to give the best- as compatible to us, when it seems fit- only if we incline to Him. Incline and yeilding to Him, yet be discern and sensitive of His leading and understanding our own self. I don't know- I've been praying, but am I earnestly pray? What's the meaning- earnestly? How earnestly? Everyday bangging on heaven's door and ask God to give me a life partner? No- course not, pray for God to work on the person- in passion and purity, in His right time, we will meet. And let His peace guard my heart- with assurance of His love and promises. I believe God knows best my heart, and I don't think to list down every single details from A-Zs is a good idea- I'm not limiting God, I'm trusting Him, my Abba Father. Sometimes it's not easy, pressure do comes, yet got to surrender the heart. My prayer is Lord, guard my heart- for it's the well spring of life. Let me not simply give my heart to anyone, not anyone- close it tight, and surrender to You, and You will open my heart when it's the right time, to the right person...Right person? Hmm...you know best, I know best, somehow we will know.
After dinner- Lisa joined my frens Bday party at Hidden Cafe- wow, such long table, I think got about 20 over people. I introduce Lisa to Roland, and Marcus sitting beside me, and others. It's Helena's birthday- Felix was around too, but has not been talking to him for long. Am feeling a bit uncomfortable. Has been staying aloof nowadays. Lisa can really talk, she shared a lot spiritual insight with me. We left the place earlier- fetching her back Vistana. She's very happy- keep on thanking me for the hospitality. Well, know a new friend.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
To Hilton with Love...
8th April 2006,
Saturday- 2.20pm half day work. Yesterday was on-leave, wake up 11am, eat and listen to DVD by Ps Kong Hee about Finding Your Right Partner. Sleep again, listen again- almost whole day to finish the 8 CDs. Then evening went to church for Condensed World Mission Course (Chapter 4).
Has been away from work for whole week, Sunday to Friday. ISOPP X is International Symposium of Oncology Pharmacy Practice. It's the 10th International Symposium, usually held it once in 4 years time, and the next one after this will be in Michigan USA. This year held in Asean- Kuala Lumpur. Overall ISOPP X is good- a lot of the topics is very much technical. The participants were from all over the world- from Malaysia to USA, Greece, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Thailand...all over. The topics very much deep, I think my knowledge and practice is not up to date. Overall alright, quite balance. Got to spend time with Ms. Chua from Fatimah Hospital in Ipoh, and got to fellowship with Ms Chen from Adventist. Heard they're getting another Oncologist from Oversea, and starting CDR soon. My Oncologist, Dr Leong also attend the seminar, actually this is meant for Pharmacist but he also join. Later on he asked me a lot abt our current CDR, giving all sort of comments. Well, this Dr talk a lot, I just nod my head and listen to him only. Had some bad experience wth him, but it's just work- overall he's still okie, doctor just doing his job.
My trip in Hilton has been a wonderful. I've done something I never had been doing before, quite bold yet not enough discernment. Not wise, very risky, but my instinct prove me right- it's okie. Some nice memories to capture and I'll remember it. Got to know a friend, going for 2 movies- Shaggy Dog- was really nice- I love it, another Inside Man, okie but a bit deep, can't really appreciate the storyline. I attended Sun evening church- Ps. Jayakumar spoke about Ps 23: 1-4 The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want. Also join Cell Group, nice combination of people- lengthy sharing tho'. Wht's the impression- childlike and simple. The lesson shared was on Abunance Blessing from God. What it means to be comple/whole. What does wholeness mean? How are we positioning ourselves to receive the blessing from God? Some shared about John 15, the Vine and branches, a few scriptures on walking with the Spirit. I remember I shared in Cell about this- He increased and we decrease. More of God, more of the Spirit and less of Flesh. How to walk in step with the Spirit. To positioning ourselves for abundance- grace upon grace, the outpouring of blessing God intended for His children. How's our attitude to receive that? Good sharing- we end really late 11.30pm, but ok-lah, quite similar to our CG.
From Sun-Thurs meeting up with Kawai, mixed feeling- a little scare, and happy. Due to my emotion and my deficiency, I'm afraid I will unconciously grow attached to the friendship and spoilt it in the future. Asking the Lord to guard my heart for it's the well spring of life. To keep watch of my steps and action. Thank God for a wonderful friend- yet there're something I need to be careful and aware of- Platonic Relationship, will that be possible between different sexes? I used to think it's possible, but now I don't think so, because somehow someday someone might cross the line.
Hilton will surely be a good memories, and it's saddening to leave and to end, yet- somehow someday my wish and hope that this will remain true and lasting...only if God wills!
Saturday- 2.20pm half day work. Yesterday was on-leave, wake up 11am, eat and listen to DVD by Ps Kong Hee about Finding Your Right Partner. Sleep again, listen again- almost whole day to finish the 8 CDs. Then evening went to church for Condensed World Mission Course (Chapter 4).
Has been away from work for whole week, Sunday to Friday. ISOPP X is International Symposium of Oncology Pharmacy Practice. It's the 10th International Symposium, usually held it once in 4 years time, and the next one after this will be in Michigan USA. This year held in Asean- Kuala Lumpur. Overall ISOPP X is good- a lot of the topics is very much technical. The participants were from all over the world- from Malaysia to USA, Greece, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Thailand...all over. The topics very much deep, I think my knowledge and practice is not up to date. Overall alright, quite balance. Got to spend time with Ms. Chua from Fatimah Hospital in Ipoh, and got to fellowship with Ms Chen from Adventist. Heard they're getting another Oncologist from Oversea, and starting CDR soon. My Oncologist, Dr Leong also attend the seminar, actually this is meant for Pharmacist but he also join. Later on he asked me a lot abt our current CDR, giving all sort of comments. Well, this Dr talk a lot, I just nod my head and listen to him only. Had some bad experience wth him, but it's just work- overall he's still okie, doctor just doing his job.
My trip in Hilton has been a wonderful. I've done something I never had been doing before, quite bold yet not enough discernment. Not wise, very risky, but my instinct prove me right- it's okie. Some nice memories to capture and I'll remember it. Got to know a friend, going for 2 movies- Shaggy Dog- was really nice- I love it, another Inside Man, okie but a bit deep, can't really appreciate the storyline. I attended Sun evening church- Ps. Jayakumar spoke about Ps 23: 1-4 The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want. Also join Cell Group, nice combination of people- lengthy sharing tho'. Wht's the impression- childlike and simple. The lesson shared was on Abunance Blessing from God. What it means to be comple/whole. What does wholeness mean? How are we positioning ourselves to receive the blessing from God? Some shared about John 15, the Vine and branches, a few scriptures on walking with the Spirit. I remember I shared in Cell about this- He increased and we decrease. More of God, more of the Spirit and less of Flesh. How to walk in step with the Spirit. To positioning ourselves for abundance- grace upon grace, the outpouring of blessing God intended for His children. How's our attitude to receive that? Good sharing- we end really late 11.30pm, but ok-lah, quite similar to our CG.
From Sun-Thurs meeting up with Kawai, mixed feeling- a little scare, and happy. Due to my emotion and my deficiency, I'm afraid I will unconciously grow attached to the friendship and spoilt it in the future. Asking the Lord to guard my heart for it's the well spring of life. To keep watch of my steps and action. Thank God for a wonderful friend- yet there're something I need to be careful and aware of- Platonic Relationship, will that be possible between different sexes? I used to think it's possible, but now I don't think so, because somehow someday someone might cross the line.
Hilton will surely be a good memories, and it's saddening to leave and to end, yet- somehow someday my wish and hope that this will remain true and lasting...only if God wills!
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